Throughout my entire life I have had a lot of anger inside me that I thought was uncontrollable. Growing up I fought with my Mother on a weekly basis, yelling, throwing things and intimidating her. I would get my way when I wanted it, however I wanted it.
As the years went on I went through relationship after relationship, becoming more and more angry. One of my abusive behaviors was to use something from a girlfriend’s past, and use that as a reason to get mad at her. I would get so angry, I would choose to hit them all over their bodies. Somehow I always managed to make it out to be their fault. I would yell curse words at them, and make them feel like a lesser person in order to build myself up like I was better than them.
On the night that I was arrested, I had broken up with my girlfriend. We met at a local coffee shop where I again chose to get angry and not allow her into her car. After I swore and called her names, I chose to block her from closing her car door and hit her in the side of the head with my open palm. I was arrested for domestic assault in the fourth degree.
This is where my life has changed–thankfully for the better. I found the ARMS ManKind program because I was required to go to a domestic violence intervention program. Through the ManKind Program I have realized that I am actually able to control my anger now.
When I begin feeling that I am falling back into my old ways, I recognize the warning signs, and I choose to respond rather than react.
The most important thing I gained from ARMS is a process they teach to help me slow down and deal with my thinking, emotions and actions when I feel my anger rising. I use this process in all situations that would usually upset me. It helps me calm down and slows things down in my mind.
I believe that all of these positive changes have made me a better man. At both home and work, I handle things much differently than I used to. My friends and family have seen the changes in me, too. They have all been supportive of my beliefs that I have gained since attending ManKind and going to church. This all has created much healthier and closer relationships with the people who mean the most to me. Finally, after years of unhealthy relationships, I have had a healthy relationship with a woman who is now my fiancé.
I am not perfect. My progress is ongoing, but I can make a choice everyday to do the right thing Because of ARMS ManKind program, and with the help of God, my friends and family, I believe I can become the man that God desires for me to be.