I was abusive and controlling for my entire life. Friends, family members, past girlfriends and worst of all, my wife, have all been targets. Like most people, I thought abuse only meant hitting someone. This belief allowed me to be abusive in many other ways without feeling remorseful. Everyone was my enemy, and I could hurt or intimidate anyone into getting my way. I often convinced myself that I was not abusive, and believed that my good deeds far overshadowed my bad deeds.

Lost Relationships Due to my Abuse

As a result of the past years of being abusive, I have been jailed twice, had a restraining order against me, lost many relationships, and my entire family feared me—even my dog. I lost jobs, damaged a great deal of property and have deeply damaged my marriage relationship.

After verbally and physically assaulting my father-in-law and brother-in-law at a family gathering on Christmas, I left in handcuffs. My family did not press charges, although they had every right to. I had hit rock bottom and finally realized I needed help.

An internet search led me to ManKind.

Faith Based Abuse Class Helped Me

Taking a faith-based class gave me a strong desire to be the Christ-like man God wanted me to be. Week by week I became more aware of how my beliefs and behaviors impacted others. Because the facilitators were non-judging it helped me to openly address my past abuses without feeling shamed. Much learning came from other men in the class who had also used abuse. I now have the tools I need to stay accountable for my actions, and can choose not to be controlling or abusive

I am truly gratefully that God brought me to ManKind. It continues to help me be a better husband, son, brother, friend and co-worker. The long road ahead will be difficult at times. Yet I count myself as one of the fortunate ones. After receiving help, I reconciled with my wife. Very thankful for the grace and forgiveness she extended to me.

I once saw her as my enemy, now she is my ally.

I am living proof that God is a merciful God.

-name withheld